S.M.U.R.F.

Everyone knows the theme song that used to grate your skull as a kid. The little blue dudes running around happy and joyfully working. I was hanging around with my brother and his friend cruising around McAllen when it got brought up. The smurf theory? WTF mate? All about hearing crazy ass cartoon theories, I was all ears. I mean, hell, look at Scooby Doo. Shaggy was the stereotypical pothead. The motherfucker talked to his dog, and the dog TALKED BACK. Anyway, my brother's friend spewed out this shit at a hundred miles an hour. You catch bits and pieces of it and some of it stuck. The acronym for smurf could stand for Socialist Men Under Red Father. Created by the French who spied on the U.S. the most during the Cold War. The smurf village functions exactly like a commune. What? The Smurfs, an American TV show, had communist leanings? WTF mate? You can usually brush off shit like this with a apathetic candor. Shit to laugh at when it gets brought up again. However this stuck in my head. I was fascinated. I have always had an interest in Russian History and cloak and dagger type (is there any other type?) espionage. I did a little research on the internet. This is apparently been brought by people with dedicated websites. People made their own opinions on how it could be construed as communist, but lets look at how the smurf village acts like a commune.

1. All smurfs distributed wealth equally. All land and food was never bartered but just evenly given. I don't really remember any smurf having personal possessions.
2. Smurfs were given specific functions in the society. Handy was the only one to fix the wacky mushroom houses. Chef cooked for everyone. Farmer smurf grew the crops for all the smurfs. THEY ALL CONTRIBUTED TO THE COMMON GOOD. An episode was aired which depicted smurfs doing another smurf's job. They, of course fucked it all up, deciding later to stick to what they did best. Know your role, shut the fuck up, and do it. You can't get anymore commie than that.
3. They all wore the same outfit with exception of Papa Smurf and Smurfette. They were only known by the functions assigned in the village not by their appearances. Chef, Farmer, Brawny, ect.
4. No one left the village except for Papa Smurf. If any of them did, it was quickly pointed out by the danger that the smurf was in. It was always the safest in the village. The leader was the only one to do any diplomacy of any kind to the "outside world".

It has been argued, because of the beard and red outfit, that Papa Smurf could have either represented Stalin or Lenin. Socialist men under red father. The only smurf that ever questioned Papa Smurf was Brainy (Trotsky, maybe because of the glasses). Brainy was always put in his place, told to shut the fuck up, and thrown out of the village. Always by the enforcer Brawny who could be viewed as Papa Smurf's answer to the KGB ::snicker::. It's a pretty interesting theory and one that is almost eerily plausible in my book. Who knows for sure. Maybe Shaggy never touched a joint in his life and He-Man just got that big by working out and not using steroids.


To Cece-

Whenever you play find Papa Smurf with Christian. Just remember Big Brother is watching him.