The Doomsday Weapon

The fourth of July is making me nervous. In addition to being in our nation's history the first legitimate "fuck you" to another country, it involves a tradition where people get drunk and play with explosives. People like me. This tradition has only been in my life for about five years, and I don't aim on breaking the cycle. Every year I have some throbbing in my hand from misplaced fireworks which is the same hand clutching a bottle of whiskey or beer.

Now the place I work is fucked up in the respect that major holidays do not necessarily grant that precious day off. Fucking bullshit if you want to get twisted on Flag Day. Now in thinking about this, my mind goes to all the fun that is probably not going to happen. It's some sort of internal sulking, I know.

One of the things that popped into my head was an invention that I am proud to spout out that is genuinely my idea. It involves a firework "bazooka" that is constructed out of PVC pipe, a modified lighter, a plethora of bottle rockets, and a revolver style housing. Yes it is shoulder mounted, and no I don't aim on blowing my head off with explosives. I just have to be an extra careful drunk pyromaniac.