Pissing on Patton's Shoes

At work I have several duties and titles that I love to give myself that give me some sense of importance. Haz-Mat collection specialist. SST transfer technician. Client issue support handler. Specimen distribution coordinator. Assistant microbiology culture tech. These are not really that glamorous as they sound, but the ring is nice huh? One of these titles is Ova-Parasite slide preparer. Let me go into detail.

The rigorous, and smelly process involves taking green canisters that contain potentially parasite infected shit, stirring them around to get the water, spinning them down, and slapping the residue on a slide for technicians (I use this word loosely) to view under a microscope. Fun Fun Fun. Now I have gotten used to it. Actually, I really don't mind. I have the closest thing to a sit-down work area and even have (thanks again Cece) a mask to boot. In where I work a made a personal little flag made with a tiny stick used for stirring and thin label wrapped around the top. On this tiny, makeshift flag is as follows.

Side one-
PROCESSING DEPT
(picture of skull and crossbones in center)
UBER ALLES (German for "over all")

Side two-
OVA-PAR HIGH SCORE
28
HELD BY
CODY

The 28 means that I produces 28 little shit slides all by myself. This is quite a Herculean feat. Took me about an hour and a half, but the job was done like a champ. Today I went back to my little area and didn't notice until about half-way through load.

SOMEONE..........REMOVED............MY FUCKING FLAG..............

It was gone. Not in its little holder by the caps. I looked around couldn't find it. The only way for it to have disappear was if aliens came down to abduct it for further research on the legend of myself or someone deliberately threw it away. I was fuming. I wanted to stab someone in the head with safety scissors. If someone did throw it away, then this was a deliberate act of war. Back in the day, do you really think ole' Eike or Churchill would let this slide? Do you think that the founding fathers would have been, "Naw....it's cool......just tax the shit outta us. We don't mind. Sorry about the tea by the way." Fuck No! I placed not just one flag but two! The first one is just a reprint of the original. The second reads as follows:

Everytime you throw away a flag, God kills a kitten.
For the kitten's sake, don't throw away flags.

They are both resting where the original flag was. If they both come under the thrall of some fools disposal, then the fun begins. I'm coming in tommorow with a picture of a kitten to put in my little crap room just for giggles. A line was crossed and perpetrators will be dealt with accordingly. I hope this doesn't escalate for their sake. I have more games to play than Milton Bradley.