The Puppy

You wake up at the sound of barking. Your eyes crack open a little. The LCD reads 4:00 am from across the room. You debate in your mind either to get up and start kicking animals or wait for them to shut up. As the calculations are slowly running through your head there is silence once more.

It happens again at 6:00 am. There are little strays of light coming through the blinds and now you wish ill on someone. Something is a little more specific. You now know what muzzle that sound emits from and it only add salt to the wound. You start to get up, but once again it has died down. You fall back to sleep.

9:00 am it is more of the same. You are awake now and very upset. You hate bunnies, cute babies, flowers, and people who smile. Misery is on the mind and you are definitely handing out invitations.

There are three dogs in the yard. One is Cannibal. Cannibal not just an ugly dog, but a very ugly dog. That's what happens when a Sharpe and a Rottwieller have kids. Despite all of this he is the favorite. He doesn't bark unnecessarily, or jump on you. He is very calm and enjoys a good ear rub. Then there's Emmy. Emmy is a Dobson mix. She will never leave you the fuck alone. She is the only dog that I have seen that'll let you play fetch. If you do happen to be suckered into playing, the game will not stop until you throw the ball and run like hell. She only barks from time to time.

Then there the little shit is. The source of all you problems. The little vile piece of shit is the ugliest dog in all the land. His looks are responsible from a Dobson mix, a Rottwieller mix, and God's sick and twisted sense of humor. The dogs stands half calve high and merely looks at you for a second, as if to catch wind, then continues the process of pissing you off and hopefully not everyone in the neighborhood.

BARKBARKBARKBARKBARK......BARK.......BARKBARKBARKBARK.....BARK.....

Your first instinct is to grab a staplegun and go to town. "Can dogs eat through straws?", you wonder. If you had less sleep you might actual try. You are not in the best of moods.

Your hand swats the dogs nose and he lets out a loud yelp. You didn't hit the dog that hard and it only pisses you off more. "Shut up!!!", you cry out. The dog is now lying on the ground, paws in the air, looking at you playfully. You are awake now, and are scanning the area for legitimate grounds that the dogs can break silence. No mailman, stray dog, cat, person walking, UFO, Sasquatch, or fucking circus clown are in sight. You can just imagine a tumbleweed passing by at this moment, but you know in your heart that the dog would probably bark at that too. The dog is still looking at you playfully; waiting for some sort of attention.

A sigh escapes you mouth and the stone cold mask starts to warm up. "Look can' t you just shut up for once?" It's like trying to explain quantum physics to a high school cheerleader, but you gave it a shot anyway. You go inside the house to get a glass of water when a machine gun of barks emits from the dogs mouth. The Humane Society would not be happy with the thoughts of power tools dancing through your head.

You wonder why people don't like cats.