General Kick The Puppy

BobDolePorn

DieBitch2000

Dontshootme

Showmeyourboobs

KungPoaChicken

CranberryJuice

These names make me smile when I strap on the headset and settle down to kill swarms of teenagers on XBox live. These are also the names that stand out when they apparently ran out of variations of 420smoka or Darkbladeassassinkilla. Shit that'll make me choke my water when the screen says "You have been killed by MiDgetNiNja."

It took me about fifteen minutes to come up with that screenname. It happened the way most things come into my life. A beam of light fell from the heavens and shown me the way. That and the dog's puppies were born and running around buying the little time to be cute until they grew up to look like the mutts they were destined to be. I went outside to check on these little monsters and they were as playful as ever. The whole gang of them were running and gnawing the shit out of my shoes like they were made of bacon. Little fuckers and I shook them off my shoe.

And so was born the great handle of KickThePuppy on August 13, 2005 in the year of our Lord; the moniker that strikes fear into the thirteen and below crowd and hatred from animal sympathizers.

For example-

A game of Halo 2 online has been a trip of very troubled waters. Having a team match of four on four the opposing team had a girl by the gametag of ElDawg1234.

ElDawg- Kick the puppy? You're an asshole. I going to kick you ass for that. **laughter from her teammates**
KickThePuppy-.......................

The match begins and I proceed to hunt her down like *snicker* a dog and strive to become the most relentless son of a bitch she has ever faced. The match finishes up and we are all in the lobby shooting the shit. As top scorer, I have bragging rights but that shows lack of class. I break my silence.

KickThePuppy- You know guys...(the room gets quiet)........after a game like that......I think I'm going to go out........and kick a puppy.

The room is dying laughing and ElDawg is making the sarcastic laughter apparent. My work is done.

Now the name hasn't just sparked harsh reprisal. There have been praise as well. A many a times has my ass been saved by some guy that laughed their ass off at my name. It does serve a purpose if not only to make the already twisted smile.

Now Battlefield 2 has just come out. They have a little rank structure that shows your performance from private all the way to general. General KickThePuppy has a nice ring to it don't you think?