Juggernaut

juggernaut - (jug-ger-not) noun

1. Something, such as a belief or institution, that elicits blind and destructive devotion or to which people are ruthlessly sacrificed
2. An overwhelming, advancing force that crushes or seems to crush everything in its path.

Preparations were made and intense dreams were hatched evolving around the celebration of the company Christmas party. The drinks were smuggled into the facility of well dressed and highly anxious zealots dedicated to the cause. The cause was that of having a great time. I dropped a cool hundred into looking my best. It seemed to be a good start of leaving my hard impression of the co-workers to who I really was. Not just Cody the slide-shit-spinner, but Cody the wild, does not give a fuck, alcoholic tornado of my own good demise. Being a social event and seeing nothing but people being anti-social, I made my move creeping through the ranks and divisions of the company. Hi, how are you doing? Nice to meet you? Your wife? Oh hello. You all look great. I'll see you guys later. Have a great night. Crawling under barbed wire with rounds streaking above me of the most evil couple of people God has taken his time to wipe out of existence, I was determined to bring my teammates the ammo can of social promiscuity. It was a nice fantasy, wouldn't you agree? Myself wanting to make others have the good time I was determined to have. The faithful were in good spirits, having the same determination I had viewed upon myself. We even compiled a list of cool, yet socially atrocious (this is merely an opinion that I feel belongs to the common anti-social elitist at the function) songs for the DJ to blare out. He actually played them too. After hearing nothing but the "finest" tejano music, there is nothing more comical than watching the faces of people turn to the DJ hearing the "Humpty Hump" and "OPP" blaring from the speakers. The gears and cogs of the giant war machine were slowing getting set into motion for the rampage that it promised to summon. In my mind, I wanted nothing more than to strip down into tribal garbs and dance around a fire with spear in hand. My own personal war machine was set into motion.
Seems that someone else's machine created a little more carnage than the creator had ever wanted. The motion set forth from this Frankenstien was more destructive than anyone else's of the evening, effectively halting mine and slowing down several others. There was an accident at a four way stop. The car was totaled and my good friend was in it with his girl/my other friend. Everything stopped when me and Mike got word. There was no thought involved, but just instinct of getting the fuck out of there to see if everything was ok. We drove around trying to pull some Sherlock Holmes -esqe shit when our endeavors set us to the local hospital. They were both ok. Nothing serious with the girl having (in an armchair MD opinion) a mild concussion and my friend walking away with not even a scratch. Lucky motherfuckers if you asked me. I stayed the whole time at the hospital with a part of my buddy's guilt and anxiety of his girls condition. Since the time we semi calmed down, I tried making jokes and teasing people with Jolly Ranchers. It didn't help my friend who looked as if he should be smoking in a way that would put the Marlboro Man to shame. The whole night had now left a sour taste in my mouth and I could only imagine what was going on in my buddy's head. I was just glad they were both ok. There was no more party in me. The tribesman stopped dancing when the fire department hosed down the bonfire and gave him a fine. I summoned what little I had left to spend with a few friends and nursed my drinks a little longer than normal. Some things happen so unexpectedly that it leaves you forgetting your name, making sure your wallet hasn't been stolen, and checking your asshole for unwanted intrusion. Thank fucking God they are alright, but fuck.......Sure are strange days. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to find a funny looking fucker wearing animal skins and a spear. There's BBQ to be made and I'm taking an Uzi to make him learn salsa in less than 30 seconds.