Astros Uber Alles

The Astros have always had a special place in my heart. I remember as a kid seeing my first major league game in Houston. I remember the heckling and shout from the fans commenting on things my young mind could not fathom. The hotdogs and people, the gown men with their gloves waiting for the ball to drop, the stupid fucking number one foam hand, left in my mind made me ache for round two. I keep up with them the best as I can as much as I hate sports. Whenever the opportunity presents itself, I make a beeline to the Houston ballpark to join in the shouts and taunts with an overpriced beer in my paws. Beltran has broken up the killer B's opting for the Mets. Clemens has the idea in his head that he is worth about ten million more. None of these things deter my faith in the young kid's favorite team.
This post is not about them. This is about a hat. My hat to be a little more specific with the proud Astros "A" adorning the front. I figured the hat for lost when I absent-mindedly left it at an old friends house. I don't like going over there for the simple fact "the old friend" might be there. I guess it can be construed as cliche. Two people have a falling out and the mad dash to get back your lost shit. My lost shit was my cap, and I thought it was for lost. My close friend and brother Roy invited me over to the house to talk about a paper. Talk also includes catching up with shooting the shit and drinking beer. I cannot deny this invitation. There are nervous little butterflies in my stomach who have nervous little butterflies in their at the thought of seeing fallout girl, and enduring the awkward vibe of apprehension. I have to grow up. I can't let something like this get in the way of seeing my second family, so I go bearing gifts of beer. The family is there with no sign of her, so it is at ease. This did not last long as she briefly showed up just to leave with a friend. She placed the hat in my hand without a word and took off. I just stared at the cap for a moment and shoved it in my pocket. I couldn't allow this moment to Fuji up the catching up as time was of the essence. That time always seems too short. I leave the hat with people I know it will be safe. I still have no want or desire to look at it for now.
I still remember the Berlin Wall. The spray painted concrete coming down in chunks as angry citizens hammer away at it. I have my own wall. It is the relationship I have now with fallout girl. The wall creates the vibe of uncertainty and awkwardness. There is a side of me that wants to grab the hammer and start destroying the wall to create some sort of breach and end the great vibe. Another wants to leave the wall in place as it could be for the best. The wall is there for a reason and that reason should not be disturbed. Another side wants so much for something else to break it down for me. I know. I know. I need to grow up. If there is anything I have proved in my life, it is that I am not a coward.
One day I will have that cap back one way or another.