Common

My friends are moderately attractive people and it annoys the shit outta me. Slowly but surely, the facts are coming in. In movies you see the quirky best friend/sidekick becoming the lovable comic relief while a John Cusack-esque character comes along and gets the girl. I have been compared to Bankie from "Chasing Amy" and Duckie from "Sixteen Candles". Enough is enough. Anymore of these stupid fucking references and I'll turn into the Michael Douglas from "Falling Down".
We were at our usual watering hole when the waitress comes by and looks at me.

"You didn't tell him did you?" She made me privy to a certain piece of info a couple days ago.
"Oh I almost forgot." I turn to Mike. "She won't leave me alone. I think she wants to have my babies. She wants me to quit my job, move to a trailer park, and work at KFC selling biscuits and gravy all day long." She chuckles and turns to Mike. "No I just think you are handsome and I have a little crush on you, but I would never do anything because I love my boyfriend, and blah blah blah blah blah......" This tirade was making the bile in my stomach churn. This shit always happens to my friends and never to me. Everyone thinks THEY are cute and/or handsome and I am always the "Duckie" to tell it to. Fuck "Duckie" and fuck you. I'm not putting up with this anymore and telling all the potentials that they have black syphilis.......


What a minute........

That's kinda a shitty thing to do. Maybe I should pour out a little hater-aid.....
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..............Fuck "Duckie"!